


You Don't Know Me

by trickstersGambit



Series: Asteroidstuck [1]
Category: Homestuck
Genre: Alternate Universe, Asteroidstuck, First Crush, M/M, Pale Romance, Renamed Characters, Species Swap, Troll John, flushed crush, tumblr asteroidstuck
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-07-08
Updated: 2012-07-08
Packaged: 2017-10-29 20:58:47
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 8,793
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/324103
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/trickstersGambit/pseuds/trickstersGambit
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jontan was growing up very scared, and very alone on Alternia, until he met Sollux Captor.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. hi i'm jon

**Author's Note:**

  * For [omgwtfkitteh](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts?recipient=omgwtfkitteh).



> Written for [Kitteh](http://omgwtfkitteh.tumblr.com), my co-author for the asteroidstuck project on tumblr, and a good friend, who deserves more love. If you find yourself with extra time, please check out [asteroidstuck](http://asteroidstuck.tumblr.com) on tumblr  
> trickstersGambit is a registered pesterchum handle that is password protected. For the love of all that is good and holy, please do not use it, as I've had a hell of a time trying to stay connected on my own goddamned account. Thank you.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I edited the chapter, because, well, it actually needed to show that I love writing, rather than I just had an idea and wanted it in text.

For as long as Jontan could remember, the house had always been closed of. Walls of nondescript grey enclosed the young boy from the sight of the world. Sure he went out on the roof. He could see other trolls-but only around his lusus, where the crab could fight away anyone who thought to come over. The crab did anything it could to keep it’s charge from being discovered as a blood mutant. He needed to survive to adulthood. No one must know his differences, and that had been ingrained in the young troll's mind from the day he'd wriggled from the caves in to the claws of his lusus.

Jontan was surrounded by people, yes, he lived in a full culdesac, but he was still incredibly lonely. All of them, every single person was kept out of reach while Jon was drilled, over and over, about the reasons he needed to be safe.

So, when the perigee turned to Jon’s second wriggling day, the crab brought the boy a computer. Games and movies, and even other trolls were safely at a fingertips reach. The stroke of hunt and peck keys made everything, and everyone, accessible, so the boy hunt-and-pecked his way through the communication, information and media sharing network, grey eyes wide with excitement. Not that it was easy for him to see, his eyes were pretty bad. He wound up having to sit with his nose inches from the screen as he poked at the keys.

Over the course of the next sweep he discovered talk-client(TA: diid you 2eriiou2ly u2e your own name for the talk-cliient hanlde?). It was, as his new friend 'twinArmageddon's informed him, clunky and inelegant. The other troll insisted they could do it better, and Jon laughed and informed him that he believed him, after all, Sollux never said anything he didn't mean.

Three months later, there it was: zipfile on his desktop, clearly labeled 'unpack-thii2-2hiit'. Inside were a pair of files. One a 'read me' file(Jon chose to disregard this, but had he chosen to, he'd have found that the directions he needed were in large, bold letters cor him to read.) the other was the program itself.

 

JE: ok, so how do i make it work?  
TA: JT, you’re fuckiing kiidiing me, riight?  
JE: no, really. How does it work.  
TA: open the fiile. hiit the ‘unziip’ button. open the new folder. cliick the iicon. the program wiill run, and done. fool proof.  
JE: where’s the unzip button?  
TA: you have no iidea how bad ii want to hiit you riight now  
JE: found it!  
JE: my screen went black, is it supposed todo that?  
JE: um. it won’t turn back on.  
JE: sollux help it’s broken.  
JE: i can’t go outside for help.  
JE: i think it’s really broken.  
JE: like really broken! HELP I CAN’T SEE THE CLIENT  
TA: uuuuugh. okay. fuck iit. ii found you. ii’m on my way, not that you can see thiis but whatever.  
TA: computer iilliiterate moron.

 

Jon sat in front of the computer for hours, poking at his screen pathetically.

“Come back. Come baaaaaaaaack.” he whined, one arm wrapped around his legs, the three sweep old feeling pathetic and lost. It took very little for him to crawl onto the pile of clothes he made several days before and curl up on top of it, pulling a shirt over his head, staring from across the room.

-

The sound of his lusus puttering in the kitchen was soothing, and he started to drift off-only to be surprised a half hour later by a pounding at the door. The voice that accompanied it was high and nasal with extreme youth.

“LET ME IN. IT’TH THUNRITHE.” the voice shrieked, pounding on the door never ceasing.

Jontan scrambled to his feet, beeting his lusus to the door in record time. He’d be able to escape if the cullers ever came to his neighborhood, that was for sure.

The heavy black door swung open, letting in the pink light of the barely rising sun, and his tiny hand wrapped around the yellow Gemini symbol on the stranger’s shirt, dragging him in.

“Geeze, what’re you doing outside at this time of night? That’s a silly thing to do you know. You could have been fried to death if it was any one else but me.” he huffed, shoving hair out of his eyes, peering up at the lanky stranger. "I mean I know people can be a little DUMB but GOD you can't be dumb enough to just walk out at sunrise and expect a random stranger to let you in!"

He examined the person before him, peering at him, leaning up on the tips of his toes. One red eye, one blue eye, four horns, four fangs, a lisp, and hair that looked like it was cut out of necessity rather than for fashion. Not to forget, pastier than normal complexion.

“Jontan Egbert?” he quiried, frowning at the short, blunt-wave-horned boy.

His eyes widened and he grinned. He definitely knew this guy!

“Sollux Captor~! You came! I was kind of freaking out. I thought you’d be mad at me because I messed it up but the thing’s all hot and making sad whining sounds. I have NO idea what to do.” he grabbed the bigger boy's hands, the grin on his face threatening to split, showing off all his blunt, too-big-for-his-mouth teeth. His best friend had arrived.


	2. You're still here?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Up all night fixing the shitheap that was Jon's computer, Sollux discovers a few interesting facts about his new-found cuddle-buddy

Captor had sat there the whole night, trying to figure out what exactly Jontan had messed up. His eyes were glued to the screen, so focused that he didn’t notice when Jon pulled a collection of six-square-foot pieces of fabric into a bunch at the lankier troll's side, and curled up into a ball ontop of them, his head and horns pressed against Sollux leg. He did, however, catch the large white lusus cuddled up with it’s head on the wriggler’s hip.

“Whath with that, eh, crab?” he questioned, peering at it, making a face at the chirring sound it made back at him. “Alright. You can thtay there. Jutht don’t touch me while I’m working.”

It looked at him, and then at the location of his charge’s head, making another chirring sound.

“He’th thmaller than you. lethh intruthive. Don’t give me that look.” he huffed, rolling his eyes, fidgeting with the wires, trying to put the machine he'd taken apart back together. “He shhhthuold be thleeping in the recupercoon upthtairth.”

The crab huffed at him, shaking his head.

“Okay. whatever. jutht …thtay there or whatever. I’ll athk him about it later.” he sighed.

As the sun was starting to set beyond the curtains the crab crept to the windows and started pulling back the curtains. The moons started shining through the windows hit Jon in the face, and the boy stirred, rubbing his eyes on the back of his hand. Sollux had slumped forward, tapping out code on the computer.

“Evening thleepy head. I fixthed your piethe of crap.” he teased, flicking the top of the smaller troll’s head. “Your thcreen needth to be replathed eventually.” he explained.

“What happened?” Jon inquired, furrowing his brow.

“Never mind that. I’ll get you thomething that doethn’t thuck thoon. replathe your whole rig.” he batted a hand into the air, rolling his shoulders.

“Is it that bad?” he rolled over, lazily resting his chin on the other troll’s knee.

“Dude, your ssshit thuckth. Ith worthe than bad. There ithn’t a word for how bad it ith. It’th tho bad that it wath probably ssshit when it came out.” the psionic troll explained, peering at the other mutant.

“Oh. I’m sorry I brought you over to fix it, if getting a new one would be bette--WAIT. my dad got me this!” Jon frowned, poking at Sollux's side

“No, I get it, thometimeth it'th all you can get. It’th cool. Now I know what a sssshitty thing you’re working with and how much of an amazing thing it would be if thomeone took pity on you and got you a new one.” he huffed, rolling his eyes.

Jon’s cheeks started burning and he ducked his face-though not quite in time for the flush to be hidden.

“Dude, you’re bright fucking red.”

The words made the boy's lusus react, causing the crab to rush over, hissing at him.

“Woah. it’th cool. I’m not thaying aanything bad about it.” he frowned, hands up in defense against the angry lusus. “Jutht that that sssssssshade of red ith unuchual.”

“Imma mutunt.” he muttered, burrying his face against the blankets he’d nested in.

“Four hornth, four fangth, red-and-blue eyeth.” he snorted. “You’re not alone on the mutant front. Who’m I going to tell?”

Jon’s head shot up from the blankets, peering at the other troll, red tears having started to well and trickle down his eyes . ”Is it really ok?”

“You’re a whimp, JT, but it doethn’t mean i’m going to thell you out.” he huffed. “You’re pitiful.”

Jon wiped his now snotty, teary eyes on the back of his sleeve, rolling up to sit on his knees, for a moment.

“You pity me?”

“Platonically.” he clarified, shoving a hand through his hair.

“But it’s still nice!” he chirped, sniffling.

“Right ok. It’th nithe…” he sighed, reaching out to ruffle Jon’s hair, smiling. “Tho I’m going to go thoon, thee about getting you thomething that doethn’t work like ith from the timeth of our fucking an-“

There was a menacing click, the crab skittering close behind Jon, scowling at Sollux.

“Shoosh shoosh dad.” he patted the crab’s nose, laughing sheepishly. “sorry. Crabdad doesn’t like curse words. you shoulld see his reaction to when the kid next door is yelling at his lusus. I thought he was going to crawl over the railing and intto the other kid’s hive.” he laughed, rubbing at the back of his neck. “I guess because of your lisp he couldn’t tell you were making the other ones.” he laughed, shaking his head.

“Yeah yeah. Yuck it up, candy bloo” Sollux started, only to be tackled by Jon.

“Shuuu No more out loud. shhhhh” he had both hands over the psionic’s mouth, eyes wide, shoulders tense, pinning him by a seat on his chest. “Someone might be listening for it now.” he hissed, looking at the window, panicked.

“That’th dumb, JT. Who’d be lithening for blood colour talk?”

“Culling drones.” he whispered. “I read about it on the interplanetary communications media and information sharing network. candy blood is an offense worthy of being culled.” he whined softly. “I don’t want to die.”

“Right. right. Ok. Get off my chetht already JT. I want to breath and you weigh a ton.” he shoved, really just wanting to figure out what to think of this situation. “I have to get home tonight.” he added as Jon scrambled back to start puting the squares of fabric away.

“Ok.” he said softly, folding each piece neatly, brow furrowed as though the task required his solid and complete attention.

After a few minutes of silence, Sollux grummbled in frustration.

“Why don’t you thleep in the thlime?”

“The sopor?”

“Yeah.”

“I don’t know.” Jon answered in a tone that said ‘drop it.’ and started carting the fabric back upstairs, trailed by the gold-blooded troll. 

Sollux watched Jontan place the blankets in a neat stack by the wall, pick up a couple of toys on the floor, lining them up next to the blanket wall, skirting the recupercoon in the corner like it was designed to give the plague or something.

“Tho you have one, but you don’t uthe it?” He questioned, frowning at Jon as he studied him.

“Why does it matter?” the boy snapped.

“Becauth it’th againth the ruleth or thomething.” he said, exasperated.

“I…I can’t use it.” It was barely a whisper of an admission, but it was still an admission, something said between friends.

“Why?”

He frowned, glancing at the tank like it’d kill him. “It's poison.”

“It’th not poithon. It’th jutht a thleeping aid. Why be tho afraid of it?”

“It’s poison, Sollux. It makes your head go slower and fog up.” He explained, looking down at his toes.

Sollux fidgetted awkwardly and peered out the window at the neighboring hives.

“What’th with the ssssssheet-thingth.” he glanced at the pieces of fabric Jon had dragged down the morning before. “You have them in here, too.”

“The awnings?” He frowned, then shrugged. “Dad implied that they’re blood based. Like the whole neighborhood is rust coloured or something.”

“Radia’s a rutht colour. There’th no reathon to be upthet about it then, ‘cauthe you can thtill go outthide.” he frowned, and Jon shook his head, clamming up. “Ok, ok I get the picture. I’m going to head home and get on with making you thomething that’ll latht you longer than two sweeps.” he sighed, raking his hair back between the inside pair of horns. “I’ll talk to you later tonight.” he didn’t want to deal with Jontan’s impending panic attack.

Not his problem. He wasn’t quite pale enough for the kid to really want to have to take on that responsibility. He headed down the stairs, waving to the crab before exiting the house and taking off for home.


	3. Good friends face their fears

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sollux refuses to give Jon his new computer until Jon can come to Soll's house without his hand being held.

Sollux made his way to Jon's house twice a week, carrying two grubtops with him. One was Jon's, the other was his own. It wasn't a rough trek, a pretty straight shot on the 

He always arrived on time, at the same hour. He and Jon would sit side by side playing games, or Jon would surf the information exchange network with Sollux glancing over from time to time from his programming to keep Jon from going where he wasn't supposed to. At the end of the visit, always the next night, Sollux would pry the grubtop from Jon's hands and close it up.

"Why can't I just keep it?" Jontan pouted up at his moirail, hoping to appeal to his pity. He didn't want to be left with nothing to do when he wasn't able to fall asleep

"Let'th thee. One, you can't take care of your computerth. You've broken two. Number Two, you're overthinking the whole 'oooh they're goinng to get me' thing. You need to learn to live a little. When you can make it to my hive, on your own, you can keep it, thcaredy purr-beatht."

"Meany. You know I can't do that! What if I trip and fall and get hurt?" Jon whined.

"Then you run." He shrugged, turning to leave. "Thee you in two dayth."

\--

Two days came and passed with the incredibly boring revelation of absolutely nothing, and Sollux didn't show up. Without a computer, Jontan had no way of knowing if he was coming at all. By the end of the night, Jon was slumped on the table in the nutrition block, staring at the blurred image Sollux' careful print on the piece of parchment stuck to his food-cooler. Maybe?

No. No he couldn't. He'd heard clanging in the cul-de-sac. That had to mean drones. 

The three-sweep-old had a legitimate fear, as far as he, himself, was concerned. He could be culled and where would they all be then?

Except Sollux was not only his Moirail, but his best friend. The only person in the world who knew him well enough to know what he was capable of.

If Sollux said he thought he was safe, wasn't he?

Sollux would never lead him astray, would he?

Except that he was supposed to be there, that night. Where was he?

He'd broken his promise. That wasn't something Moirails did, was it?

Jon had broken promises before, though, hadn't he?

Every time he promised he wouldn't break his computer, or the accessories. Every time he popped the keys out of his keyboard when he thought he'd lost a piece of graphite in the keyboard, then being unable to replace the key. Every time he wanted to see what the cursor-guide was made of, and broke the clicking mechanism.

The time Sollux had said he wasn't going to come over, and he 'mysteriously lost' the wireless cursor-guide chip in an effort to get Sollux to come visit him. Admittedly that had been straight after one of the older rusts in his neighborhood had been marched to the 'adultifying' ships.

But Sollux was honest. Sollux would never do what he did.

He'd have asked Aradia or someone to come tell him if he couldn't make it, wouldn't he?

Maybe no one knew he wasn't coming?

-

Sollux was due to come over, he failed to appear, again. 

Jon was panicking. Sollux had PROMISED to come over.

Two times a week. That was the agreement.

But he'd missed two visits, and that set Jontan pacing, the address to Sollux hive in his hand.

"I could die...but he could need me, and I'd have just left him hanging. Then I'd be the WORST moirail in all of troll HISTORY. Not..." _Not to mention the worst troll to ever be flushed for another._

He peered out the window, then at his lusus, and made his way up the stairs to his respite block, shuffling through piles of neatly folded clothing for a hooded sweater, hauling it on. Sollux needed him. He needed to go to him.

That was what Moirails did.

An hour later he was dressed head to toe, wearing his hood up over his head, horns through the holes, sleeves over his hands, backpack strapped on, and he was shaking infront of the door.

"I could die I could die I could die." his sleeve-covered hand rested on the knob, Crabdad clicking at him warningly. "NO. I'm going. I have to go. It's Sollux. Remember? Sollux? He comes here pretty often? My Moirail? About this tall?" he motioned to a space about a foot above his own head (he was going to grow one day, he knew it!) and glared at the crab. "Skin and bones, one red eye one blue eye yellow blood?" he scowled, then turned back to the door, twisting the knob awkwardly. "Don't stop me, I'm going to go."

It was a landmark day. A day when the shut-in troll would make his first venture into the world.

God help him.

With a violent jerk of his left arm, the door snapped open, the bright, reflected light from the moons swimming in his door.

Jontan paused, shuddering as he stared out, eyes wide, hands shaking as he held the address parchment tight in hand. _It shouldn't be this hard. It's Sollux. It's Sollux. It's Sollux._ He shuddered again, gripping the note tighter.  _One foot infront of the other, JT._  He told himself, hearing Soll's voice in his head.

A slow, tentative step brought him to his front stoop, and he eased out into the world, wincing, cringing, looking around like a lost fur-beast.

When nothing bad happened immediately, he turned to look at his Lusus with a slow, deep breath.

"I'll be back. Tomorrow night, I'll be back, ok?" The crab made a sound like it was not at all pleased, and started to follow him. Jon put a hand out, growling as best he could. "STAY." 

He snapped the door shut, taking a deep breath.

"Alright, Jon. One foot infront of the other. One foot." one step "Infront of the other." a second step, then a third.

Before long, Jon had left his cul-de-sac, one hand gripping his directions, the other gripping a strap on his backpack.


	4. Jar of Hearts

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jon arrives and takes care of a few things

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this was REALLY long, so I decided to split it up a little bit. I think the place I stopped was a decent enough stop? Anyway, I didn't want to have an awkward post in the middle of everything else. You'll see what I mean.

The journey to Sollux Hive was long, too Jontan. His feet ached with the unfamiliarity of the distance. His shoulders burned with the weight of the bag. His eyes, unused to squinting so much, having memorized the path about his hive from the time he was a new wriggler to his present day.

His lack of ability to see caused more than one scraped knee and panic attack, and he constantly glanced down at his pants to be sure that if the scraped skin was indeed bleeding. It wasn't showing up red on his black pants, thankfully.

Hivestems rose around him, bright green towers that seemed like they wanted to touch the sky. He stared up at the strange amalgamation of blobbed colours, knowing what they looked like from photos Sollux had showed him on his grubtop weeks ago. His attention snapped back to the paper in his hand and he studied his directions, setting off in the direction of Sollux’ home.

It wasn't hard to miss, as it turned out. There was crackling blue and red on top of Sollux’s hivestem. Bicyclopsdad. Sollux Lusus protesting to the treatment his charge was giving him, if Jon had to guess. He set his hand on thee door and squinted up at the raging flashes, shuddering.

“Something better be seriously wrong with you, Sollux, or I’m going to smack you senseless for making me worry.” he whined, stepping onto the lift that would take him to his friends’ home-block.

The doors hissed open and Jontan stumbled out, glancing around.

“Sollux? Sollux Captor, you moron. You broke your promise. I hope your happy!” he saw piles of things laying around, storage grubs on the floor, wires trailing from one block to the next. The mess made him whine. His house-wife sensibilities making him want to clean the place until it shown. A clean home made it easier to see traps and tricks set by other people. How could he live like this?

He followed sets of red and blue into the respite block, squinting around to try to see if his best friend was there. The mess of things on the floor didn’t surprise him, nor did the bees buzzing about the large towers of whatever the fuck that yellow crap was in one corner, recoupercoon in the other. He also wasn’t surprised by the mess of blue and red scrawled on his walls. Jon had scrawled alien…things, similar to the posters in Gamzee’s room, on his own walls. His eyes searched out the computer, and he peered hard at it.

Yes, yes he was. A blob of black and four splotches of yellow slumped over his keyboard, illuminated by the red and blue of his screen and lines of code.

Jon picked his way across the floor, scowling at the mess, trying not to crush his friends storage devices, and not fall on his face while tripping and stumbling over the cords.

“Sollux Captor, your hive is disgusting. How the heck do you live like this? I mean gosh, slimy stuff all over the place, storage tools on the floor. Your lusus may not care what your hive looks like, but I do.” he prodded Sollux’s shoulder, earning a disgruntled groan from him. “And don’t give me that.”

Sollux was slumped over, limbs hanging awkwardly at his sides, face pressed into the keys, glasses skewed at an awkward angle.

“that can’t be comfortable. And you’re all pale. Solluuuuuux.” he prodded the taller troll. “Giddaaaaaaaaaaaaap.” When Sollux didn’t sit up on his own, Jon heaved a sigh and prodded the back of his head.

“Excellent play, getting me out of the house like that, by the way.” he huffed, peering at him.

“ghnnn way.” Sollux groaned, batting at him.

“Keyboards aren’t pillows, Sollux.” he giggled softly, pulling him backward in his chair. “You’re such a pitiful moron. You’re dead on your keyboard, your lusus needs feeding, your hive is a mess and I don’t even want to THINK about your kitchen.” he batted at the other troll’s horns, trying to get his attention.

“fuu…”

“Yeah yeah ‘fuck you’ too.” he huffed, pushing Soll’s hair back, feeling his forehead. “Geeze guy, you’re burning up. How’d you let it get this bad?” he sighed, smoothing the hair back into place. “I’ll take care of you, but first, your lusus needs food. What’s he eat?”

“Fud”

“Wel no DUUUUUH. Gosh Soll. That’s what I’m asking, here.” he rolled his eyes.

“hnnnnny.”

“…Honey?”

Sollux’s red eye cracked and he gave a look something akin to approval, and Jon frowned, looking about. He scooped up a jar he found, pointing to the honeycomb like thing, and Soll grunted at him.  
Jontan took a deep breath, collected some of the sticky stuff, wagging a hand when some got on his fingers.

“Ew. Gross, dude.” he wagged the honey covered fingers at him.

“don’t eat.”

“You’ve forgotten who you’re talking to. I don’t like sweets that don’t come in sealed packages.” he scrunched his nose and wiped his hand on his pants, starting to the roof. “don’t eat. Already a given. Sticky. Gross. Probably goes in cake.” he thought back to crabdad’s last horrible attempt at cake that resulted in having to clean the oven for hours. “ew.”

The roof seemed worse for wear. Drag marks were scraped into the rooftop where the chain that kept the lusus up there. The Bicyclops itself was staring at the new figure in it’s domain, deciding it was a good idea to try to attack.

Jontan let out a loud, admittedly girly shriek, dodging to the side, a hammer retrieved from his sylladex, held in front of him like it’s presence alone was enough to protect him.

“I-I’m here acting on behalf of your charge.” he skirted the creature, guiding it around the second pillar, and he peered at it. “Now, there. Your chain is shorter. Much better. Now.” he held the jar out. “Soll says this is what you eat. So I brought it to you. Your charge is sick. I’m going to take care of him, don’t you worry. That means I’m going to take care of you. My lusus can take care of himself. He knows where the roe cubes are.” he twisted the lid off and held the jar out again.

The lusus peered at him dubiously, holding a hand out, confused and curious.

“That’s right. You’re alright. I’ve got this. Don’t you worry, ok?” the lusus guzzled it down and Jon grinned brightly at him. “I’ll be back um…whenever you need feeding… Unless something comes up, you know?” he held his hand out for the jar, which the lusus rolled back to him after it was finished.

“You’re kinda cool, Bicyclopsdad.” he reached out and patted one of it’s hands, darting back as he narrowly avoided a swipe. He was by no means the sort of person who could communicate peacefully with everyone, like his friend Tavros seemed to be, but Bicyclopsdad was safe enough, if he was part of Soll’s life.

He bounded back downstairs, going to Sollux like a knight to the fair maiden. He giggled at that mental image. Skirts did NOT suit Sollux at all.

The door hissed open, again, and he went to the respite block, where his friend was slumped over the keys again. Jontan rolled his eyes and clicked his tongue.

First thing first: He had to clear a path to the recoupercoon. Sollux slept in there, best, so he had to make sure he’d be able to put him in.

It was slow going but he managed to make a path, and marginally less sticky. How did that stuff get EVERYWHERE? Jontan surveyed his handywork then grabbed Sollux under the arms, laying him out on the floor for a moment.

“Juss’a’sec and I’ll help you get to your coon for sleep, ok?” A groan from his pitiful friend(Gosh wasn’t he pitiful? Handsome and pitiful and-wrong track of thought for someone trying to help his friend. Bad Jon!)

He slid into the chair and peered at the code, before saving it as ‘gotosleepmoron.~ATH’ and closing the window. The chat client was revealed, with three flashing windows.

He supposed he should message those guys before anything else happened, before people started worrying too much...


	5. anger and confessions

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jon learns to snap, sort of, and finds himself spilling things to an unlikely source.

Aradia’s sat on top and Jon felt a surge of jealousy. He squashed it under the heel of the boot that was Sollux’ health-status at the moment, and clicked the window, leaning close to peer at it.

AA: s0llux i find myself very c0nerned as it has been several days since I have heard fr0m y0u  
AA: i w0nder if perhaps y0u have managed t0 bec0me s0 engr0ssed in y0ur script that y0u have perhaps f0rg0tten that there are tr0lls with wh0m y0u h0ld c0uncil

All the messages were from several days ago. His jaw clenched as he clicked the reply box.

TA: no, don’t get up. i’ll get it. Gosh.  
TA: clearly, you’re very concerned, aradia.   
TA: it’s quite impressive that you managed to make it over here.   
TA: ah, hold on a sec, that’s me. gosh i look like you in the mirror, i guess. oops.   
TA: if you were so concerned i guess you’d have managed to make it over here.   
TA: i mean gosh, all the close attention and pity!   
TA: fuck that. he could have died and you’d be sitting there staring at your screen waiting for him to get back to you.   
AA: hell0 j0ntan   
AA: i realize y0u are perhaps very angry   
TA: oh gosh aradia! What was your first clue?   
AA: perhaps the fact that y0u used an unusual w0rd f0r y0ur demean0r   
 TA: sarcasm, aradia.   
AA: dually n0ted   
AA: what br0ught y0u t0 s0llux hive 0_0   
TA: he missed out bi-weekly date.   
TA: duh   
AA: 0h my   
TA: it was rude of you to just sit over there and wait for him to message you.   
TA: but i’ve got this handled so don’t bother coming over here, or messaging until everything’s settled down.   
AA: j0ntan   
AA: it is rude 0f y0u t0 assume that i d0 n0t care   
TA: i’m sorry did that look like an assumption?   
 TA: it’s meant to be an accusation.   
TA: i have to answer two other jerks, then get him in his coon.   
TA: bye.   
\--twinArmageddons[TA] ceased trolling apocalypseArisen[AA]--

Jontan gritted his teeth, seething as he opened the other window.

\--cuttlefishCuller[CC] began trolling twinArmageddons[TA]--   
CC: Sollux!   
CC: I )(aven't )(eard from you for a whale.   
CC: Are you alright?   
\--twinArmageddons is an idle troll--   
CC: I wanted to tell you about this problem I've been )(aving with my husktop.   
\--twinArmageddons is an idle troll--   
CC: Sollux?   
\--twinArmageddons is an idle troll--   
TA: oh gosh feferi. he's not your personal tech-troll!   
TA: he's more than the service he occasionally provides.   
CC: Jontan? W)(at are you doing on Sollux's )(usktop?   
CC: Isn't that an invasion of privacy?   
TA: isn't asking for his help on your silly husktop problems an abuse of the free friendship he's offered you?   
TA: ask another technically inclined troll while soll gets better, ok?   
TA: gosh, he isn't the only smarty-pants troll out there.   
CC: Glub!   
CC: When did you get so M-------------EAN Jon?   
TA: when i got here and soll was slumped on his keyboard drooling, with a code that was apparently 'fefpatch' on the screen. it's got a different name but gosh.   
TA: i feel like you're all abusing his kindness.   
TA: i've got one more person to answer then i'm going to put him in his coon and get domestic on this hive.   
TA: i get that you've got a big important job, but you guys all need to take the time out of your horrendously packed schedules to take care of your friends.   
CC: Glub!   
\--twinArmageddons[TA] ceased trolling cuttlefishCuller[CC]

He switched to the next screen, taking deep breaths, trying to calm himself down. He didn't want to ruin things between this one and Sollux. It wouldn't do to fuck up something Soll apparently cared about.

\--caligulasAquarium[CA] began trolling twinArmageddons[TA]--

That seemed to be yesterday, given all the idle messages. Alright.

CA: quit ignoring me soll   
\--twinArmageddons is an idle troll--   
CA: soll   
\--twinArmageddons is an idle troll--   
CA: soll   
CA: damnit soll answwer me   
\--twinArmageddons is an idle troll--   
CA: soll im bein serious   
\--twinArmageddons is an idle troll--   
\--twinArmageddons is an idle troll--   
CA: yer pissin me off soll   
CA: you said youd talk to me more   
\--twinArmageddons is an idle troll--   
CA: you promised   
\--twinArmageddons is an idle troll--   
\--twinArmageddons is an idle troll--   
\--twinArmageddons is an idle troll--   
\--twinArmageddons is an idle troll--   
CA: soll   
\--twinArmageddons is an idle troll--   
CA: are you done ignorin me yet   
\--twinArmageddons is an idle troll--   
CA: fef says yer ignorin her too   
\--twinArmageddons is an idle troll--   
\--twinArmageddons is an idle troll--   
CA: seriously this is gettin annoyin soll   
\--twinArmageddons is an idle troll--   
CA: damnit soll get on   
CA: are you at jons place or somthin   
CA: bet thats why you arent there   
\--twinArmageddons is an idle troll--   
CA: alright fuck   
CA: if that's where you are i guess its ok for you to be doin the ignorin thing   
CA: not like  i give a shit or anything  
\--twinArmageddons is an idle troll--   
\--twinArmageddons is an idle troll--   
\--twinArmageddons is an idle troll--   
TA: oh my god eridan shut up. :B!   
TA: you sound like a jealous girlfriend. heh heh!   
TA: sollux missed two trips   
CA: is he ok then   
TA: ......   
CA: jon please   
CA: jon   
CA: for gods sake   
CA: please   
TA: .....   
TA: no but he will be.   
TA: don't worry.   
TA: i'm not the sort of troll to make my flush crush suffer.   
CA: oh god really   
CA: jon really   
CA: did you just admit to being flushed for a guy whos practically your moirail   
CA: over that guys trollian account   
TA: i know.   
TA: to you of all people.   
CA: bold move.   
TA: i'm deleting the logs.   
CA: alright  
CA: i dont wwant him seein that i actually give a shit  
TA: dumb. :B  
CA: shut up landdwweller  
CA: wwhat wwith you deletin the logs an all  
CA: tell me wwhats goin on  
CA: talk to the quadrant master  
TA: it's not EVEN cool that you call yourself that, eri.  
TA: anyway, he only wants me as a moirail.   
TA: he's flushed for someone else.   
TA: but too pitiful to tell them.   
TA: and that's only part of why I pity him.   
TA: i've got it bad, eridan.   
TA: i need a flush intervention.   
CA: no shit   
CA: you poor brave soul   
CA: youre not the first to flush for your moirail believe me kid   
TA: we're the same age, jerk.   
TA: go consol your moirail.   
TA: i might have been a little harsh on her while i was answering her.   
CA: oh god jon   
CA: wwhat did you do   
CA: shes glubbing at me   
CA: oh god   
TA: i accused her of being a friendship abusing brat.   
TA: i'm going to go take care of soll now.   
CA: oh god   
TA: do me a favor?   
CA: ugh fine wwhat?   
TA: don't contact over here until sollux contacts you?   
TA: thanks in advance! :B   
\--twinArmageddons[TA] ceased trolling caligulasAquarium[CA]--

\--twinArmageddons[TA] began trolling cuttlefishCuller[CC]--   
TA: i'm sorry i got mad at you.   
TA: sollux is my favorite troll and it hurts seeing him like this.   
TA: i didn't mean to lash out.   
TA: don't cull me   
TA: so um   
TA: bye.   
\--twinarmageddons[TA] ceased trolling cuttlefishCuller[CC]--   
CC: Why would I cull you?   
CC: Jontan?  
CC: Glub?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> :I how do HTML?


	6. Dreams are what we're made of

Jon looked over at his crush-slash-best-friend-slash-unofficial-moirail, and slid from the too-high chair, crouching next to Sollux.

"I'm going to move you now, ok?" he asked, tilting his head, hoping to hear his friend answer. "Or you could just lay there." He shrugged, hooking his arms under his shoulders. Jon only managed to lift Sollux' shoulders off the ground, and made a valiant attempt at dragging him across the room.

When it came down to actually getting him IN the coon..

"I swear to GOD, you're made out of lead. You must cheat and use your psionics to lift you up and walk you around. Good sweet suffering lord, you're the heaviest person in the world." he groaned, tugging him closer to the recoupercoon, trying to shove him up.

He was going to feel that. He was absolutely going to feel that.

Jontan groaned, looking up at the recoupercoon. The only thing he could do was haul him in, but he needed a long strip of something, or rope, and drag him up from inside.

He shuddered at that thought, looking around. Wire was the most readily available thing in his friend's hive, but gosh if he wasn't sure Sollux would kill him for it.

He looked down at his hooded sweater and tossed it to the chair, then wiggled out of his too-big long-sleeve shirt, spinning it in one hand.

"I'm getting you back for this Soll. I'm getting you back good." he wrapped the sweater under his friends' arms, once around the torso, back up under the shoulders. Yeah, that'll work. He nodded to himself, proud that he'd figured it out. "Alright, Soll. Let's go." he scrambled up onto the coon, sitting on one side, bracing his feet on the edge.

It took everything he had, and he still wound up falling in with a grunt, once sollux was up with him.

All at once the sopor hit him, drowning him in sudden drowsiness. He tried to fight, panicking against it. He tried to crawl out but his limbs felt too heavy, and he felt too weak to lift himself up.

Jon fought a helpless whine. All he could do was cling to Sollux and hope he woke up when the sun set again.

\--

Gold swam around him. Well, not literally swam. It sounded good in his head.

No. Gold was everywhere-everywhere except that big blue-thing down below him. Whatever it was, he wanted to be there, and he was drifting before he knew it.

The clouds were fascinating, to Jontan. His eyes were wide as he drifted past him. A boy with bright blue eyes and dark hair, styled pretty similarly to his, and square things on his face. Glasses?

They looked the same. He knew because of the mirror in the bathroom. But the boy in the cloud was pink and squishy rather than grey, sharp, and pointy like a troll.

The cloud broke. Kinda violent, huh? Jon mused, watching another one form in it’s place.

A pink fleshy, vaguely troll-shaped creature with sharp eyes and red hair…A snarl on his lips as he seemed to dance through a field of red. This person made his blood pusher stop for a moment. He didn’t understand, but his appearance gave him pause.

The image marched on to Sollux in a grey room, but not the same grey as his hive.

Eridan, Equius, all of them.

Him, hopping from person to person with a smile on his lips, lingering here and there, only to hop back to his own computer and cover it possessively, snarling at them.

That surprised him, and he shook his head.

This was a very silly dream.

Tavros drifted past him, and he waved, grinning as he drifted back to the gold land, laughing softly.

He passed a cloud that made him stop and stare in horror.

Splashes of blood splattered the world within the cloud. Gamzee and a club, eyes half lidded, dark orangey-red, claw marks on his face. Oh god, what happened? Gamzee was so peaceful! Sweet, kind, pitiable. He was like Tav. He didn’t seem like he could have hurt a buzz-bug if he wanted to.

A horn honk, a shift in expression, a splash of hope. This was a strange dream. So much blood in one image, so much friendship in others. And strange pink fleshed things.

All he wanted to do was go back to the dreamless versions of sleep he’d been so fond of all his life.

Fear drifted from another cloud, and he whimpered, crying out for Sollux.

Sollux would protect him. Sollux always protected him.

The dream marched on, he drifted back to the gold place and found solace in the arms of his favorite person, and wrapped himself around him like a clinging tree-beast.

 


	7. Wake up little Jontan.

The moon rose on the next evening and Sollux opened his eyes reluctantly. The psionic twisted and found himself confined by something strange, a weight clinging to his chest, fabric and wiry body. Familiar but strange in the sopor slime. He moved his hand over the body, finding it familiar and comforting. Jontan sleeping against him like he did when he was coding at the smaller troll's hive, his face pressed against Sollux's chest exactly as it had been the last time he'd been too busy to crawl into Jon's disused recupercoon.

He peered at the dull, waved horns and messy, slime clumped hair. With Jon's luck he'd breathed the slime in. It wouldn't have surprised him in the least. He'd be so hung over when he woke up, and Sollux would have a good laugh at it. 

What DID surprise him was the fact thhat nothing he did, poke, prod, what have you, wasn't waking the paranoid trickster up.John usually snapped to attention if the sounds in his hive changed in the slightest.

"JT? JT??" he poked his belly, hiss neck, stuck a finger in his ear, pried his eye open. Nothing woke him. "Jontan you're thcaring me. Wake the fuck upp, theriouthly. He scowled disapprovingly, watching as Jon simply laid there in the slime, looking content.

Soll groaned, climbing out of the coon, lifting Jon out with his psionics, rubbing him clean with a towel from the bathroom. Hopefully he'd wake up in a few minutes.

However those few minutes passed and Jon's eyes remained resolutely closed. 

"JT. JT this ithn't funny. Wake up." He only earned Jon twisting in his hold, snuggling closer to his chest. "Fuck..." 

Sollux resorted to hefting him up, carrying him tto the computer. He settled the boy in his lap and clicked Aradia's name.

\--twinArmageddons[TA] began trolling apocalypseArisen[AA]--

TA: aa ii need your help, jt came two help me and now he won't wake up.

TA: ii thiink the 2opor broke hiim or 2omethiing. 

AA: h0w d0 y0u mean

TA: he 2lept iin the 2liime wiith me for the fiir2t tiime iin hii2 liife for 2ome rea2on. 

AA: he d0es n0t sleep in the slime

TA: he'2 pretty phobiic about iit, 2o hiim 2leepiing iin the coon ii2 weiird.

AA: h0w is his breathing

TA: even, ii've got hiim iin my lap, driied off and 2leepiing liike a narcoleptiic grub.

Sollux looked at Jon who'd let himself be arranged however Sollux wanted. He was absolutely right. Sopor was bad for Jon and he was never letting him near it again.

AA: what d0es he l00k like

TA: liike a pale jt

TA: he'2 not even whiiniing and he hate2 when ii jo2tle hiim iin hii2 2leep.

TA: he biite2 me u2ually. can you 2ee why ii'm worriied?

AA: and y0u say hes never slept in the slime bef0re

TA: never. what do ii do aa?

TA: i ju2t fliicked hii2 ear and he didn't even fliinch.

AA: sh0wer him 0ff i guess

AA: y0u can't tell anything if hes still c0vered in it

AA: get clean cl0thes f0r the b0th 0f y0u

AA: im c0ming to help y0u 0ut

TA: alriight

TA: thank2 aa

\--apocalypseArisen[AA] ceased trolling twinArmageddons[TA]--

Sollux hefted Jon up once more, carrying him to the ablution trap. It wasn't like Jontan was heavy. It was just tedious trying to carry him around, and it made him grimace. How could a small troll be so awkward to handle.

Red and blue psionics twisted the knobs until water streamed into the bottom of the shower, and Soll worked Jon's mucky clothes off him with an attempt at clinical efficiency that he couldn't quite maintain in the face of his best friend being so...

He was wrong. Jon was wrong and it wasn't going to get right unless he got the sopor off him.

Sollux sat beside Jon, scrubbing the sopor out of his hair, brushing his hair away from his horns, rubbing those clean. He tried to be clinical about it-It was exceedingly uncomfortable when John wouldn't stop moving in his sleep. He hoped it meant Jon would wake up soon. 

As soon as he got most of the slime off him, Sollux laid him on his side, cringing.

"Thorry JT. There'th no other clean platheth in thith plathe tho I'm gonna lay you here. I'll leave the water warm for you. Pleathe don't freethe." he sighed, centering the stream on him before climbing out and into something relatively clean. 

It took him a while but he managed to not only FIND but CLEAN his floor, sweep piles of sticky clothing and other detritus into washers, trashcans and hampers. He had to wait for a blanket and a towel, but he managed it. The blanket-black and yellow striped, Jon had given it to him last sweep for his wriggling day- was tossed on a pile of clean things he'd pulled from the dryer. The towels, warm and fluffy, were carried into the bathroom in a lump, and stretched out as he used his psionics to flick the water off and lift his friend from the ground.

"Alright you uthlethh lump of troll." he sighed, wrapping Jontan tight in the fluffy white bath sheet, hugging him close. He still had to support the boy with his powers but he managed to get him into the living block without dropping or knocking him into the door frames. 

He sank them together on the pile, hauling a blanket over the both of them, sighing as he rested his head on Jon's shoulder.

"Enough of thith Jontan. Wake the fuck up already." 

They laid there for hours, Sollux clinging to him, muttering little words of encouragement or anger as the night stretched on.

He was just about to doze off himself when he felt John stretch and sigh

Sollux popped up, peering down at his friend slash possible moirail and scowled at him as the mutant blood cracked an eye at him.

"Oh, you're awake." Jon yawned, smiling, patting Sollux cheek. "Forgot you're not an evening pe-"

"Never EVER get in the thlime again you fucking MORON. You could have DIED." Sollux snapped, leaning in close. "How you got thith long with a coon in your hive and didn't find out it wath pothhible for it to kill you I have no idea. Jeguth fucking GOD."

As he yelled, Jon giggled, patting his cheek some more.

"Shhh calm down calm down I didn't die because you're a great friend, right?" he chirped, watching Soll's expression fluctuate between angry and worried. "Awww, are you pale for me Sollux Captor?" he teased, grinning brightly. Nothing was never so amusing as when Sollux got grumpy, as far as he was concerned.

"You almotht died. I thought you weren't going to wake up you pathetic idiot. I don't know what I'd do without you, fuckwit. Don't go and do that again." he tugged jon into a tight hug, clinging to him.

"Why Sollux Captor. Was that a pale confession?" He ventured, voice soft and cautious. 

"Fuck you."

"And black. Oh gosh. My head is reeling. Make up your mind mister captor" he teased, hugging him. "Pale?"

"God damnit, yeth, Pale."

"I fed your lusus for you." Jon smiled, snuggling against his long-time cuddlebuddy-turned-pale.

"...Thank you." Sollux clung to Jontan for a while, letting the other mutant pat and pet him and whisper calming words.

It wasn't the quadrant Jontan would have preferred, but he'd take what he could get. He suddenly understood everything Eridan always went on about: Being flushed for your pale mate was definitely something that had the potential to break a troll.

\---

Jon's fingers flew over the keyboard, half a sweep after the sopor incedent, fervently keying in a miniature rant at the one person he thought might understand his situation-Eridan and Sollux certainly didn't, even if they were involved in the mess--who WASN'T involved in the mess, honestly. Jontan Egbert was a mess of pale feelings and a solitary flushed crush. It was driving him nuts.

He wasn't sure why he thought Aradia might understand, but he wanted to talk to her none the less-and had been for several hours while she gave her virtual nods of encouragement. 

TG: i mean i like them all well enough, but gosh, it's like you try to give a bit of support to one of those morons and suddenly everyone thinks you're cheating on your moirail!

TG: they're all assholes who don't know how to recognise what other people are feeling if they're slapped in the face with the same thing themselves. someone has to take initiative and help them figure out how wrong they are!

AA: i kn0w that feel

AA: all t0 well

TG: ugh why do we have to have such stubborn friends aradia? 

TG: i mean equius is constantly harping on me not to sound like a low blood. how even does a low blood sound??

AA: hang 0n

AA: vriska is being pretty insistent right n0w

AA: such a pest t0day

TG: ok.

AA: s0 this just happened

AA: AG: I've got a message for you from your 8oyfriend.

AA: AG: He's outside your hive right now!

AA: AA: n0t falling f0r it

AA: AG: take a look.

AA: AA: i d0nt see anything 0ut there

AA: AG: Well ok, I'm just the messenger.

AA: d0 y0u think shes telling the truth j0ntan

TG: oh who knows? i'm not over there. TG: i honestly think he might have fallen asleep on the keyboard again.

Sollux had been in another window going on about how Vriska was a pain in the ass. Luck wasn't everything, and she clearly wasn't that clever.

Sollux window had a note . Wait. An idle troll? Why was he idle? Sollux was never idle, not with Jontan on the other side of the universal information transmission network.

His panic grew when Aradia's window flashed to tell him that she was offline.

He began messaging everyone. Terezi wasn't available. Tavros wasn't available. Equius was but didn't have an answer and please use proper punctuation, Jontan, you are not a low blood. Nepeta had no answers for him and Eridan was being cagey. Gamzee...

Gamzee was Gamzee. There was no helping him.

Jontan leaned close to the screen, hackles raised as he searched out a location for Aradia, deciding to use his recently acquired guts to go check on her first. Something was happening and it needed to be handled. Something wasn't sitting right.

Vriska sent him a cackling message and he snarled at the screen, flicking it off as he scrambled out of his hive, throwing on his sun-protective coat. Who knew if he'd need the protection or not? Better safe than sorry. 

The trip wasn't so long as he thought it was, and he scuttled across the landscape with a crusheradicator's training hammer in hand.

Ahead of him was a gaping hole where Aradia's hive had been, and Sollux. Sollux was there, crackling red and blue energy swirling around him as a heart wrenching grief filled cry touched Jon's ears. In his arms was a figure. A black dress. A maroon Aries on her chest. 

Aradia.

Jontan darted through the sparks, throwing himself at Sollux, slinging his arms around his neck. "Shoosh. Shoosh. It's ok. It's alright. It's ok Soll. It'll be ok." He brushed his hand over the psionic troll's horns, making soothing sounds as Sollux relaxed against him, leaning over Aradia's body.

They sat there for a long time, Sollux crying his mustard yellow tears into the black of John's cloak. 

"I-- I killed her. I killed her and... And I... I think I'm going to die too." The words made Jon freeze up and cling tighter.

"Th-That's horn-beast excrement Sollux Captor and don't let me hear you say it again because joking like that isn't funny at all." he buried his face against Sollux's shoulder.

"I think I might have been fluched for her, JT. I think I wath." 

Jontan chilled at the words, and pressed his face tighter against his closest friend's shoulder.

Of course he was. Jon had been flushed for Soll too long to not know when the other was flushed for someone else. 

"I... I know Soll. It's ok. It'll be ok." he rubbed at the taller troll's back. "It'll be ok. You'll see."

"You're a good Moirail, JT. A really good Moirail."

"One of us has to be, idiot." Jontan whispered against his shoulder.

anyone can tell

You think you know me well  
But you don't know me ...

No, no, you'll never ever know

The one who loves you so  
Well, you don't know me


End file.
